Nicky Dubrow is gonna be hot someday.
Funny how we all thought that the biggest hazard at the dunes would be Kelly siphoning down a few tequila shooters and causing a Category 5 sandstorm, ruining Nicky Dubrow’s sweet innocence and doing irreparable damage to her friendships. Nobody could have predicted that we’d be life-flighting Vicki out of desert.
But, here we are. Continue reading
Seriously, who invited Tamra?
This week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County was one of those necessary snoozers—relatively uneventful, but possibly important in the long run. It is a small but sturdy bridge along the River Crazy, a place where wandering souls like us can come to rest and reflect before throwing ourselves headfirst in front an ATV driven by Kelly in the Glamis Dunes. Continue reading
Kelly is Brandi Glanville-level bad.
Hello, my pretties. It’s been too long.
Two weeks ago the Olympics sidelined our regularly scheduled programming, and last week I was drinking Pina Coladas out of a plastic tumbler on the sunny shores of the perfect society that is Myrtle Beach. This is late because I am still adapting to normal life outside of Utopia—plus, I watched a lot of Rock of Love while I was there, so my brain is a little mushy. Continue reading
Can Meghan just get fucking pregnant already?
There is only one person on this planet more tired than I am of Meghan King Edmonds’ IVF “journey.” That person is her husband, Jim Edmonds, who has somehow been roped into playing the role of donor in this pregnancy charade. Yes, he is the donor of sperm, and he is the donor of the money that it costs to inject that sperm into his wife’s thirsty, thirsty uterus. Continue reading
Hear ye, hear ye! For a judgment shall be proclaimed!
This week David and Vicki get into it about Vicki’s role in Brooks’ fake cancer. They both puff up like two college frat boys fighting over the last beer in the fridge, faces inches from each other, flushed with booze and conflict. David tells Vicki she’s “the lowest of low” and Vicki tells him he’s a “cheater and a bad man,” then gets into the limo AND CALLS BROOKS.
The fact that this is a sub-fight, not even technically a part of the main event, really speaks to just how great this episode was. Continue reading
RIP to the greatest Housewives tagline ever.
How many of these women are voting for Donald Trump? Continue reading
In the desert, no one can hear you scream.
Close your eyes. Imagine that you are on a 20-hour road trip with Vicki Gunvalson. You are careening through the scorching desert. The only sounds other than her screeches about the nearest Nordstrom are the cries of your two small children, who are strapped into the backseat, trying not to shit themselves. Continue reading