Hire Me!

If you are a person who has hiring abilities, welcome! If you have read any of the content on this blog so far, you may be discouraged against giving me money to do even the simplest of tasks. But let me assure you that I also enjoy writing about issues that reach beyond the shallow scope of celebrity scum culture. (Unless you DO want to pay me to write about Taylor Momsen’s nipple ring, in which case I would gladly oblige.)

Aside from crafting thoughtful commentary on a variety of meaningful topics, here are some other things I can do which may be of use to you:

  • use Photoshop to doctor your tax returns or important business receipts
  • babysit your small child or pet (no pittbulls, boxers, or dobermans, please)
  • copyedit your love letters or suicide notes
  • show up at family gatherings to facilitate drinking and ease awkwardness
  • use my stronghold on the Spanish language to hire and fire your staff
  • scour the internet for the best prices on anything (9 times out of 10, i’m getting you free shipping anywhere in the US)

I also do parties!

Here are some examples of what I might look like doing work for you:

 

 

My email address is carolineknecht@gmail.com. I would love to send you a sample of just about anything. You can follow me on twitter, or connect with me on LinkedIn and prove to me that maintaining that account is not a total waste of time.

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